I said, 'Oh that I had wings like a dove! Then I would fly away, and be at rest.'
You don't want to die. You just want to disappear for a while. Fly somewhere the phone doesn't ring and the inbox doesn't fill and nobody needs anything from you for one whole uninterrupted day. Not a vacation — a vanishing. A place where your identity isn't defined by what you produce and your value isn't measured by what you carry. David wanted wings. Not to go to war. Not to go to the temple. To rest. Even the king — the one everyone depended on — fantasized about escaping his own life. You are not broken for wanting out. You're human for wanting rest. And the rest doesn't require wings. It requires permission. And the permission was granted a long time ago.
This might be the most relatable verse in the entire Bible — because who hasn't said this? Who hasn't stood in the middle of their own life and thought: if I could just leave. Just for a day. Just long enough to remember who I am without all the roles and obligations and performances.
David didn't want a chariot. He wanted wings. He wanted something that would take him somewhere no one could follow. Somewhere the title didn't exist. Somewhere the crown came off. And that desire — the desperate, almost childlike wish to be small and free and unburdened — isn't weakness. It's the soul's emergency signal. It's your deepest self saying: this pace is killing me. This load was never meant for one set of shoulders.
But here's what David discovered — and what you might be discovering too — the escape isn't geographic. You could fly to the other side of the world and bring your exhaustion with you because the exhaustion isn't in the location. It's in the operating system. It's in the belief that you are only as valuable as you are useful. And changing that belief doesn't require wings. It requires a different definition of worth. One that has nothing to do with output. You are not a machine. You are a soul. And souls don't need an escape plan. They need someone to say: you can stop. Right here. Right now. And nothing falls apart.
Psalm 55:6
Exhausted
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